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When talking recently to a school parent group I was asked ‘How do you make your child resilient?’. I had no immediate answer. After some thought I did stumble on an answer, of sorts. If your child is to become resilient then you must be a resilient parent. You cannot solve all of their problems.  Sometimes, they have to deal with their biggest problems by themselves. You can offer support but you cannot live their lives for them. My daughter had to face her inner monsters herself. She did. And she does today. The next two posts offer insights into the heart-crushing challenge of becoming a resilient parent. 

When my daughter was 12 years old

she slipped silently, imperceptibly at first, into anorexia.

‘The Days are Forgetting me’ she scribbled on a note pad.

They were.Me pic Correction

And each day she slipped further away from me.

I felt I was watching her walk slowly, deeper and deeper into the still waters of a lonely lake, while I was sealed off from her behind a wall of Perspex, banging, yelling, pressing my face against the glass,

unable to get through to her.

Fear electrified my every thought.

I was her mother. I had to feed her.


Meanwhile, psychologists, psychiatrists and doctors could name the condition.

They could pop her into a diagnostic box.

None could open the lid.

My turning point in understanding this affliction

– this chameleon viper that disappears and returns

to strike in different forms –

was realising I could not control this carnivorous monster consuming my daughter alive.

I could not eat for her. 


It was her monster.

She had to take the stand, she had to turn on it and fight.

Who else could?

Kerry Cue

This is an edited extract from Forgotten Wisdom by Kerry Cue   #mce_temp_url#

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Poempig lives in the epicentre of Australian Swine Flu hysteria…. duly catching one of the lesser bugs. Going to the doctor suffering from flu-potential was a new experience. I was met out the front by a receptionist and given a mask and then escorted into a back room. Tamiflu was prescribed by a masked doctor. Being isolated in a back room had its advantages. I was, of course, saved form the germ fest in the waiting room. Nevertheless, the achy, breaky flu-like symptoms put me into a poetic if-dulled state of mind.


There is a certain age

When the doctor – still shuffling his notes –

Looks up at you and says

You have the -tism.

And, ah, some -itis too.


To deal with the -tism

You must forgo youthful indifference, late night indulgence and chaotic inattention

Embrace a more monastic, ordered liferocking chair

And eat green vegetables

(Grown, out back, in the monastic garden, no doubt!)

The -itis also demands a rigid, rule-based existence

With different coloured pills.

Pink this time.


Keeping company with the -tism

Is like living with a crack-cocaine addict

It flares up and attacks you

For no reason and with no warning.

The -itis hangs around your life 

Like a depressed house mate

Moping and moaning and turning every  simple chore

– like getting out of bed – into an epic quest.


At some point the realisation dawns

The crack addict and the depressive

Are now your companions for life.

It is not how you imagined it

Sitting on the porch

(Note to self: Get a porch)

The three odd amigos

You, the -itis and the -tism.

Kerry Cue

Clip Pic comes from the tragically appropriate Lie_inourgraves Photostream: #mce_temp_url#

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“Is there mental illness in your family?”Adell Rucker

 he snorts … matching me to his theses.

“Oh no” I say to his blank face

“It is in the species!”

 

Kerry Cue

photo: Adell Rucker #mce_temp_url#

 

 

 

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Click on: ADD TO THE LIST. There’s no need to meetsign-1

To end a no-fuss friendship. Just Press: DELETE

by Kerry Cue

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woof4

Scruffy, Jack, Spot and Bo

Dogs are called across the planetodd-dog

But something’s wrong, terribly wrong

When you call your dog Janet!

kerry cue

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Popularity is no boast.crowd-scene2

From politics to fashion, history has

shown popularity is, all too often, just a

loud celebration of a common ignorance.


kerry Cue               p246 Forgotten Wisdom     #mce_temp_url#

clipart: #mce_temp_url#

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click on the webpage she tells the classplastic-roll

today’s lesson: The Life Cycle of Plastic Grass

kerry cue

clipart: #mce_temp_url#

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